Friday, September 23, 2016

some new album reviews.......

This post is me talking to hear (read?) myself talk, because 99% of you probably do not give a crap about any of the bands I'm about to blather on about. 

This month, three of my favourite bands of all time released new albums. I cannot remember the last time this happened (probably not since early high school), as the vast majority of the bands I listen to have long since disbanded.*

The Commandments According to SCAC

by Slim Cessna's Auto Club

Not gonna lie, I was super disappointed by this album. But not surprised, because I have noticed a pattern. Ever since Rebecca Vera got more heavily involved with them, their music has suffered. And not just SCAC. Their side project, Denver Broncos UK is definitely not something I would listen to again, and Munly's last solo album was a huuuuuuuuuuuuuge disappointment considering how amazing the previous albums were (.....if a bit ok fine a lot strange). 

The members of SCAC have always made some strange music, but it was good strange. This album just sounds weird and disjointed, and not in a good way. I will still love them unconditionally, but I don't think I'll be rushing out to get this on vinyl. 


by The Handsome Family

This is classic Handsome Family, which is nice because their last couple albums were sort of a big departure from their usual sound. Lots of good melodies and wonderful storytelling.

I am currently using all of my willpower to restrain myself from buying the record because I'm going to see them next Friday and I'd rather buy the record directly off of Rennie and Brett and have them sign it. 

and finally.....

Star Treatment

by Wovenhand.

Holy sh*t. 

I don't know how the heck he does it. David Eugene Edwards has been consistently producing amazing music since the very early 90's and has once again blown me away. I don't even know how to describe the music on this album. It's like a crazy mix of metal/folk/blues/punk/David Bowie. "The Hired Hand" (which I've posted previously) is still my favourite track, but the other songs are all just as good. 

So go buy it. 

Have a good weekend, y'all!

*Pun intended.

Thursday, September 15, 2016

When I asked you to build me a wall I was rather hoping that instead of just dumping the bricks in a pile you might have found time to cement them together... you know, one on top of another, in the traditional fashion.

I need one of those interlock things attached to my computer because's for Halloween.*

How such things went out of fashion I'll never know. Yes I realize they are somewhat complicated to assemble and a bit suffocating and bodily movement is very limited while wearing it, BUT IT'S SO PURRTY.

I dropped my upright bass on my foot this week.

Owning that instrument is fraught with dangers. Just moving it from one room to another poses significant risks to my physical health.

One time I had a dream that I could fly around on it, like a witch's broom.


My Day of Oldering** fast approaches, and already Mumsy and Lil Sis are stressing me out by trying to make a fuss.

I hate fuss. Every year is exactly the same--I insist I want no fuss, no party, nothing extravagant whatsoever, maybe just dinner out somewhere quiet and inexpensive and that's it.

So far, TWO dinners out are planned (one at an absurdly expensive steak house), and Mummers has been calling and texting non-stop demanding I send her a wish list for presents.

I don't want to seem ungrateful. Quite the opposite. I am very grateful that I'm getting two nice dinners and that I have a mother who wants to get me lots of presents. But I hate that she's spending so much money. I feel guilty.

So instead I tried to come up with a few things that I actually need, like these super sweet boots:

(I need another pair of boots to wear to work.)

and a used laptop with Windows (I need a computer with Windows*** to do freelancing transcription work to make some extra $$).

Mumsy responded to this with, "FINE I'll just give you money then!"


Adventure to Weyerbacher should be [hopefully] happening this weekend. I am super excited.

*I shall use Halloween as an excuse to wear it out in public. I really just love period costumes and will probably keep buying more until the day I die.

**I stole that word from Tempest.

***I would never normally endorse the use of Microsoft Windows.

Friday, September 9, 2016

Give up your dead.

This week has been fairly insane. I have never been so excited to sit home and do absolutely nothing.

Monday night, shortly after arriving home, the fire department arrived outside our building. Lady next door had a burst pipe or something in her kitchen, which flooded her apartment, the migrant farmers' apartment below her, and the basement dwellers' apartment. Praise be to God, my apartment was totally undamaged.

But they had to cut the power so as to avoid potential electrical fires. And because the landlord and not the fire department cut the power, the electric company informed us we would need an Official Okay from an electrician and the Official Okay from the town building inspector before they would turn the power back on.

So Tuesday morning, I sent Drummerboy to the apartment (he's an electrician), and we had the power back on by Tuesday evening.

Also Tuesday evening, I met one of the New Zealand cousins and his wife, who were staying at Dad's house for a couple of days. His wife is originally from Alabama, and her hybrid Southern Belle/New Zealand accent is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

Wednesday I ended up spending nearly two hours with Guitar Teacher because we spent almost an hour in deep discussion over The Silmarillion before actually starting a bass guitar lesson.*

On Thursday, I took the day off work to spend with my aunts. We had a nice lunch, but then did nothing for the afternoon because it was too bloody hot out. Dinner brought on some drama with Lil Sis, who was extremely upset by the fact that we would not sit around waiting for her to get home from NYC before going to dinner. We had her meet us at the restaurant, so that I could head home before it got too late, since it takes me an hour+ to get home from there. But apparently this was unbelievably selfish of me.**

Tonight I am sitting home doing feck all. And it is wonderful.

Wovenhand's new album is out. Here is my favourite track:


Tomorrow I have been invited to a party thrown by one of The Misfits. I'm tempted to bail because I'm le tired, but I feel like I'll regret that....

*That problem is not going anywhere fast. 

**It is perfectly fine if everyone else is inconvenienced, but Lil Sis must never be inconvenienced ever because that is Not Fair.

Friday, September 2, 2016

Yeah, that’s right! You better run! She’s our friend and she’s crazy!

As much as I adore my new apartment, there is still one drawback to living in an apartment building (aside from no dishwasher and not washing machine).


For the most part, I've lucked out with the neighbours here. (Remember the neighbours we had in Philly?) The lady next door is very pleasant, though I've only seen her twice since moving in. I have yet to see her son, or the other person who moved in a couple weeks ago (I'm assuming either her daughter or her son's girlfriend...).

The landlord's daughter and her boyfriend live in the apartment below mine. I've run into her maybe two or three times. She is also very nice.

Next to her, there is a family of migrant farmers (parents and two kids). I see them the most, and they're probably the friendliest out of everyone. My only issue with them is that every once in a while, the family across the street comes over so all the kids can play together, and for some reason they feel like it's a good idea to have all the kids play in the driveway. A driveway in which six cars are frequently coming and going.

Then there's the people in the basement.

I hate people. I hate small talk. I hate being forced to interact with people on a small-talk level, but I'll do it when the situation calls for it.

For example, if you happen to pass your neighbours in the shared driveway, it's not a lot to ask to give them a pleasant "good morning" or least a "hi."

Because the basement-dwellers allow me to use their rubbish bins free of charge (otherwise I'd have had to pay $20/month for my own), I thought they must be relatively nice people. I offered to split the $20/month, but they said no. That's very nice of them.

But every time I pass one of them and try for the friendly "good morning" or "hi" or what have you, I get Side-Eye-Chloeied.

If Mr. Basement-Dweller is out on his own, I might get a grunt or a muttered "hi" back. If it's both Mr. and Mrs. Basement-Dweller, I get Side-Eye-Chloeied all the way to the front door.

Mrs. Basement-Dweller seems to have a particular hatred for me. At first I thought I was just paranoid, but I've seen her chatting all friendly-like with Mrs. Migrant Farmer and the people across the street while their kids play together, and chatting with the dude across the street who handles most of the maintenance in our building, so she obviously doesn't hate everyone. I've tried really hard to be nice to her, but I feel like every time I do something like compliment her bumper stickers (because in fairness, she has some hilarious bumper stickers), she just gives me dirtier looks than she did before.

But enough about that.

Let's talk about her f**king minivan.

As per everyone's lease, each apartment gets one of the five parking spaces (5 apartments = 5 parking spaces). It's a b*tch backing out of my parking space if Mr. Basement-Dweller's car is in the driveway parked next to mine, but it can be done with a 5-point turn. The reason being that the stupid unnecessary handrails leading down to the basement apartment stick out into the driveway in the most awkward spot ever, and you have to do a 5+ point turn avoid hitting them and knocking them over (Mr. Basement-Dweller and I have both destroyed the railings, more than once).

Everyone else who lives in the building but doesn't get a parking space parks on the street right outside the building. There are only like 20 people living in the whole village, so it's not exactly hard to find a space right outside our building. All the other tenants manage it without a problem.

Except for Mrs. Basement-Dweller.

More often than not, she parks in the driveway.

Here's how the driveway is set up:

And here's where Mrs. Basement-Dweller parks her minivan.

If she pulls right up to the garage, I might be able to get out if I make a 30-point turn. Usually when I am attempting this, Mr. and Mrs. Basement-Dweller stare at me from right outside their front door, giving me dirty glares.

The other day, I tried and failed to get out of my parking space, so I rolled my window down and asked very politely, "could' y'all please move the van?"

Mrs. Basement-Dweller's response was a very audible "UUGGHHH", and then she stabbed her cigarette out rather violently into their overflowing ashtray, went inside, and slammed the door behind her.

Mr. Basement-Dweller stood there for a protracted moment, obviously under the assumption that Mrs. Basement-Dweller had gone in to get her keys so she could move the van. When she did not return after some time, he stuck his head inside and said something to her, and then he went and got the keys and moved the van.

And I was like ummmmmmm ok do y'all want me to take out your railings again? Should I arrange to have my car lifted out of the driveway with a crane?? COULD ONE OF YOU MAYBE PARK IN THE FECKING STREET LIKE EVERYONE ELSE?

 Lil Bro#2's explanation: "Obviously it's because she's an old witch who wants to steal your youth and beauty from you. Watch out. Don't drink any mysterious liquids that show up on your doorstep."

Sounds legit.

Have a good weekend y'all!